In the parallel universe known as Earth X, or perhaps Earth Y, bizarre circumstances and repeated lightning strikes combined to form Nintega, an altogether kooky fusion ‘twixt video game behemoths Sega and Nintendo. And, on this alternate world, the masses have lined up to play the following titles.
And we’re just kidding, folks. Seriously ? Sonic’s Bad Fur Day Because the kids like the gratuitous cursing and harcore action that Nintega offers, Sonic’s Bad Fur Day has clocked in as this strange universe’s top game. The action begins when famed videogame mascot Sonic wakes next to Samus Aran from Metroid and, upon gazing into the mirror, finds that his fur is acting up yet again. Staring into the mirror, Sonic has an ephinany; Our beloved blue bomber, discovering he’s just had carnal knowledge of a robot suit and realizing that he’s spent the last 10 years of his life running around sans pants, snaps and runs amok.
Gameplay consists of Sonic employing various gels and styling mousses, cursing like Rosie O’ Donnell after being kicked out of the all you can eat lunch buffet, pushing crates, and tormenting French people by reminding them how tragically unfunny their “god” Jerry Lewis is.
Pokemon Go Adventure The saccharine sweet Pikachu has decided to go on a super fun big happy goodtime with hack for Free PokeCoins. Using his fine Pokemon pole, Pikachu fishes up a stange and unusual Pokepal. His name is Seaman, and together the two go on many fine, fun adventures such as digging up fixings for a picnic, indulging in cannibalism, and getting into conversations such as:
Seaman: Are you retarded? What the hell does Pika-pi mean?
Seaman: That’s it. If I had an opposable thumb, I’d be giving you such a stabbing right now.
Super Smashed Brothers Mix Mario, Sonic, Luigi, Ulala, Donkey Kong, Knuckles, Link, Ecco the Dolphin, Kirby, and the Floigan Brothers with liberal amounts of “wacky tobacky” and you’ve got the most fightingest game around. And, as an added treat, the game comes packed with a special controller that shoots Cheetos into players’ mouths.
Samba De Luigi Luigi trades the plumber’s belt for a pair of stack heels and a big white jump suit and decides that boogie fever is infinitely better than staring at peoples’ backed-up toilets. This game allows players to revive the disco era, as they get Mario’s errant brother to dance to such hits as Funkytown, Disco Inferno, and Stayin’ Alive.
Donkey Kong Evil The mutagenic T-virus has been unleashed turning mild-mannered giant ape Donkey Kong into a cannibalistic zombie beast who consumes the flesh of the various kongs including Chunky, Lanky, Tiny, and Diddy. Players control the never-before-seen Phlegmy Kong, as he tries to find the skull key, the monkey key, the key that looks like Ernest Borgnine, the key to unlock the key to everyone’s heart. Plus, to satisfy the lusts of every undead cannibal giant ape adventure, there’ll be plenty of memo reading and heavy object pushing.