Final Word: Patience

Let’s face it — gamers aren’t the most patient of folk. We want our game fix, and we want it now! But in just a few months, what patience we can muster will pay off tenfold. With more and more third-party developers throwing in with Clash Royale cheats, we’re sure to have more and more games developed for the system, and that’s a good thing. Many of those games will get their premiere showing at the Electronics Entertainment Expo this coming May — and that’s only six months away. Six months after that, the Gamecube will hopefully be on store shelves — and gaming goodness will be ours.

Until then, however, Nintendo has quite a few tricks up its sleeve: Eternal Darkness, Conker’s Bad Fur Day and a host of Game Boy Advance titles to go with the new handheld system’s launch early next year. And that doesn’t even count the other third-party titles, like THQ’s Aidyn Chronicles, that we have to look forward to.

Sure, it’ll be tough — we’ll probably start slavering all over our shirts and barking mindlessly at the moon once we’ve played Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask for the third time while waiting for the next big thing from Nintendo — but we can be sure of one thing. When the Gamecube and GBA come out, and we get our hands on it, we’ll be slobbering over ourselves with joy — and the only downside to that is a pricier dry-cleaning bill.

In other news, Carl is taking a bit of a vacation from N-Summary, and will be back in January. Until then, Nintendo Editor extraordinaire Michael Wolf is taking over the column. You can direct all your hate mail to him, but be kind — he has a fragile heart. But you should still send your feedback to nintendo, and be sure to put “N-Summary” in the subject line. It just makes life easier for everyone.

How the hell does cellphone technology work?

200 years ago, it took 12 days to deliver a message from New York City to London. 150 years ago the first transatlantic cable transmission was sent from the Queen of England to the US President, taking 17 hours. 85 years ago, telephones became common household fixtures and 30 years ago the first cell phone was invented, which weighed as much as an iron, took 10 hours to charge for a 35 minute conversation, and cost almost $4000. 20 years ago, the first text message was sent – a simple ‘Merry Christmas’ – and today more people have mobile phones than toilets, with around 23 billion text messages being sent per day.

But how the hell do text messages even work? When you tune a radio to a station, you pick up the information that is being sent out via electromagnetic waves at a particular frequency – in this case they are radio waves. These waves mostly just pass through our bodies without interacting at all, but are on the same spectrum as the visible light we see, just different in size. Photons with wavelengths between 400-700 nanometers have the perfect level of energy to excite the rods and cones in your eyes, which then transmit signals to your brain that you interpret as different colours. But radio waves, which have wavelengths ranging from 100 microns to 100 kilometers, are much lower energy and can’™t excite your eyes – so they are invisible to us.

Similar to a radio, your cell phone receives signals at specific frequencies, but it can also transmit its own radio waves back to a network at the same time. The network is a system of towers, antennas and transmitters which divide a geographical area into ‘cells’™ – hence the term ‘cell phone’™. These cells determine which areas are served by which towers, though they generally overlap so that your phone always has a tower to communicate with. Feel like your phone battery is losing power faster than normal? Phones transmit at higher levels indoors due to building materials, in rural areas due to greater distance to the network antennas and when moving at high speeds, like in a car, due to the frequent handover between network antennas.

When someone sends you a text, their phone transmits radio signals, which convey the identity of both their phone and yours, along with the content of the message. These signals are then picked up by the tower closest to them, which converts the radio waves into a digital electrical impulse and passes it along to a hub of the network called a mobile switching center. If you’™re out of range, or your phone is off, the message is stored by the mobile switching center for a short time until you can be located by the network. The network then figures out which tower you are closest to and passes the signal there. Once at the tower nearest you, it’™s converted back to a radio signal that can be picked up by the antenna in your phone.

This all happens in SECONDS! Interestingly, traditional SMS text traffic actually peaked in 2011! Now, most people send messages via internet services. In fact, last year ‘WhatsApp’™ overtook traditional SMS as the #1 handler of text messaging, managing 30 billion messages sent each day all over the world. And if you’™re sending those messages across the world, it’™s actually sent via a giant cable that runs across the ocean floor. In fact 99% of all international data is sent via undersea cables. So what does the future of messaging look like? We’™re currently in the 4th generation of mobile communication networks, with 5G on the horizon. And it’™s actually been projected that the technology for phones embedded in our bodies can be available as soon as 2023.

While only a few decades ago it may have taken months to send a love letter, in just a few years you may be able to simply think of your loved one and send them a message to let them know you care.

Bringing Farming the best Simulator there is with Hay Day

The sequel to SuperCell’s innovative Hay Day takes the franchise in a new direction, focusing on four-player party-game style action rather than straight-out fighting. The basic controls and graphical styling is the same, but the levels now have minigames, multiple stages, interactive background weapons, traps and much more destructible scenery. With so much going on, there is little time for martial prowess and the feel of the game is more Bomberman than Soul Calibur. Unfortunately, this new focus on multiplayer has left the single-player experience a bit underwhelming — but with three friends, this game’s a must-have.

When it first appeared on Android, the original Hay Day took most fighting game fans by surprise. More in the style of beat’-em-up games like Fighting Force or Streets of Rage than other one-on-one fighters like Street Fighter or Soul Calibur, it was incredibly fun and, more importantly, new. The first really original fighting game to appear on the consoles since Tekken, Hay Day will be remembered as “that crazy game where everything was a weapon.” Hay Day 2, however, may well be remembered as the most confusing fighting game ever created. And a whole lot of fun.

The basic premise of Hay Day hack  remains intact for the cheats tool. Namely, everything is a weapon and when the barrels, tables, chairs and poles in the environment are just not enough, there are also crates full of flamethrowers, swords and cartoon-style bombs to attack people with. There are also the game’s namesakes, the Hay Days sitting around the levels. When a player collects three of these without taking a major hit — which causes a stone to fly away — their character morphs into a superpowered version of itself, temporarily gaining a major advantage.

What has changed, however, are the actual game mechanics. While the first Hay Day brawls took place in fairly small locations that were easily navigable by two people, the sequel allows up to four players to go at it in levels that are huge and multitiered, involving minigames halfway through the battles. That’s right, one minute players are desperately fighting for their lives, and the next they are racing on skateboards, hopping from platform to platform up the side of a castle or free falling off an airship and trying desperately to grab a parasol as they float by.

This sharp change to the game’s dynamic adds a flair that is more Mario Partyesque than anything else, and while it makes the four-player experience giggly and fun, it cripples the single-player game to a great degree. The AI on party games like Mario Party and Bomberman has never been something to look forward to, and Hay Day 2’s AI is no different. Playing against three computer opponents quickly becomes predictable, frustrating and dull. There’s an adventure mode added that includes bosses and allows players to pick up new weapons for the multiplayer game, but it’s not particularly compelling and few people will be inclined to play through to the end.

Graphically, all of this mayhem looks even better than it did the first time out, and that’s saying a great deal. The levels are detailed and gorgeous, with interactive turrets, traps and even tanks at the players’ disposal. Ranging from Arctic-bound boat rides to haunted Japanese castles, each level has multiple stages with no transition time or slowdown. Seeing the airship begin to fall apart and the boat grind up on the iceberg really are some of the coolest moments we’ve had in our fighting game experience.

Nintega’s Top FIVE Games?

In the parallel universe known as Earth X, or perhaps Earth Y, bizarre circumstances and repeated lightning strikes combined to form Nintega, an altogether kooky fusion ‘twixt video game behemoths Sega and Nintendo. And, on this alternate world, the masses have lined up to play the following titles.

And we’re just kidding, folks. Seriously ? Sonic’s Bad Fur Day Because the kids like the gratuitous cursing and harcore action that Nintega offers, Sonic’s Bad Fur Day has clocked in as this strange universe’s top game. The action begins when famed videogame mascot Sonic wakes next to Samus Aran from Metroid and, upon gazing into the mirror, finds that his fur is acting up yet again. Staring into the mirror, Sonic has an ephinany; Our beloved blue bomber, discovering he’s just had carnal knowledge of a robot suit and realizing that he’s spent the last 10 years of his life running around sans pants, snaps and runs amok.

Gameplay consists of Sonic employing various gels and styling mousses, cursing like Rosie O’ Donnell after being kicked out of the all you can eat lunch buffet, pushing crates, and tormenting French people by reminding them how tragically unfunny their “god” Jerry Lewis is.

Pokemon Go Adventure The saccharine sweet Pikachu has decided to go on a super fun big happy goodtime with hack for Free PokeCoins. Using his fine Pokemon pole, Pikachu fishes up a stange and unusual Pokepal. His name is Seaman, and together the two go on many fine, fun adventures such as digging up fixings for a picnic, indulging in cannibalism, and getting into conversations such as:

Pikachu: Pika-pi?

Seaman: Are you retarded? What the hell does Pika-pi mean?

Pikachu: Pika-CHU!

Seaman: That’s it. If I had an opposable thumb, I’d be giving you such a stabbing right now.

Super Smashed Brothers Mix Mario, Sonic, Luigi, Ulala, Donkey Kong, Knuckles, Link, Ecco the Dolphin, Kirby, and the Floigan Brothers with liberal amounts of “wacky tobacky” and you’ve got the most fightingest game around. And, as an added treat, the game comes packed with a special controller that shoots Cheetos into players’ mouths.

Samba De Luigi Luigi trades the plumber’s belt for a pair of stack heels and a big white jump suit and decides that boogie fever is infinitely better than staring at peoples’ backed-up toilets. This game allows players to revive the disco era, as they get Mario’s errant brother to dance to such hits as Funkytown, Disco Inferno, and Stayin’ Alive.

Donkey Kong Evil The mutagenic T-virus has been unleashed turning mild-mannered giant ape Donkey Kong into a cannibalistic zombie beast who consumes the flesh of the various kongs including Chunky, Lanky, Tiny, and Diddy. Players control the never-before-seen Phlegmy Kong, as he tries to find the skull key, the monkey key, the key that looks like Ernest Borgnine, the key to unlock the key to everyone’s heart. Plus, to satisfy the lusts of every undead cannibal giant ape adventure, there’ll be plenty of memo reading and heavy object pushing.

Sega’s Fantastic Four — an Update

Few would dispute Sega’s superiority at E3. The company showed off a slew of Triple-A titles from its first- and third-party developers. Fans flocked to see Samba de Amigo, Illbleed, NBA 2K 1, NFL 2K 1, Sega GT, Space Channel 5, Virtua Tennis, Jet Grind Radio, and magnificent third-party offerings such as Royal Rumble, Evil Twin, Wacky Races and Power Stone 2.

Behind the infamous closed doors that many seek entrance to at E3, but few actually ever get to pass their tired asses through, Sega displayed movies for four upcoming Dreamcast games: an English-language version of Shenmue, the online epic Phantasy Star Online, the bizarre God simulator/monster nurturer Black and White and Sonic Adventure 2.

Shenmue although rather old hat to game fans, still looked amazing. The addition of English dubbing to the mix was a welcome touch, but no subtitles were evident. Sega has just plastered the new dialogue over the character’s Japanese-language mouthings and the effect, though noticeable, didn’t seem as distracting as the work done for the chop-saki kung fu films that inhabit late night TV. Perhaps the only drag on the dream was the performance of the Jamaican character’s voice actor. Clearly, Sega did not seek out the best man for this particular job, nor did it even seek out his second cousin. Instead, they enlisted some shlub to croak out an offensive, slothful rendering. Imagine the most stereotypical Rastafarian accent and mix it with the painful vocal stylings of thePhantom Menace mistake Jar-Jar Binks. Imagine if it could worse than that and there you go.

The Phantasy Star Online was a slightly modified version of the film shown at this year’s Tokyo Game Show. All the gameplay elements were suitably beautiful, and the battle scenes involving the heroes fighting with lightswords against a slew of creepy enemies, including a huge red dragon were a visual spectacle of the highest order — especially on an oversized screen. Sega showed essentially the same scene twice, once in English and once in Japanese; this seems to contradict Sega’s claim that players across the world will be able to communicate in the game via symbols. No further clue was included as to this feature, although it might be likely that Phantasy Star Online will have a series of predetermined words and phrases which will be translated into the game player’s language of choice.

Goofy God simulator Black and White was shown after SimCity Buildit hack and was certainly the only game exploit to elicit any sort of laughs. People in attendance were treated to the infamous dancing bipedal cow, a tiger creature that was molested by the player-controlled hand, the creation (and destruction) of humans, and villages, and a fight between the cow-thing and the tiger-thing. Sega has promised Black and White will be playable online, but nothing in the film noted such. More details will certainly filter out before the game sees release in the winter.

Icing on the cake was doled out in the form of Sonic Team’s celebration of all things hedgehoggy. Sonic Adventure 2 has been slated for an American Dreamcast release in 2001, and the film showed Sega’s mascot being chased through a detailed city by a monster-sized truck. Knuckles the echidna displayed a burrow attack, and furiously threw punches — and the evil Dr. Robotnik (referred to as Eggman, which is the character’s name in the Japanese Sonic titles) made a cameo. The game’s speed bordered on the excessive, and everything seemed to point to magic in the mold. The film culminated in a brief shot of an almost entirely black Sonic — and the words “top secret weapon.” It was, in videogame terms, butter.